


WitchesTale: Dancing In The Dark

by Chocobohoney



Series: WitchesTale: Dancing In The Dark [1]
Category: Bayonetta (Video Games), Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Bad Puns, Detective Noir, F/F, F/M, Magic, Other, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-07
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2019-11-13 06:42:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18026717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chocobohoney/pseuds/Chocobohoney
Summary: AU Undertale meets Bayonetta in a Detective Noir story with a twist!Set in the 1950's in the City of Bentley, a sprawling metropolis by the sea, a series of kidnappings and murders begins to put the squeeze on the humans and monsters living there.Each kidnapping and murder held together by one link: newly wed human/monster couples where only the wives are stolen, and the husbands left beaten, or worse: dead! Who could possibly solve this bizarre crime spree?In comes the Bone Brothers & Co, a detective agency with a well known reputation for always getting results! When they get on the job, they find themselves thrown for a loop when a mysterious woman shows up with a cryptic clue to their case, and an eye for the youngest Bone Brother. Ooh, la la!Tune in this week and join in on a new dumpster fire fanfiction sure to thrill you, chill you, and tickle your funny bone!





	1. And So Our Story Begins...

This was it. The end of the line, the last stop, case closed.  
The flashing lights of the police cars illuminated the scene that lay outstretched before all who could see, like some macabre portrait in a horror comic. Thunder rippled across the sky as fat, cold rain drops poured down, hitting the pavement in a raucous cacophony and almost drowning out all sound.  
The Chief of Police, a grizzled, reedy-looking fellow flicked a dead cigarette into the gutter as his eyes watched two fresh corpses get loaded up into an old ambulance. He shook his fedora-covered head in disgust, before turning to the unusual, shorter fellow standing next to him.

"What a waste." He grumbled loudly, fishing in his pockets for another fresh cigarette, but stopped when he saw the outstretched, skeletal hand of the monster next to him. Clutched in its grip was a freshly opened pack, and the Chief grinned wearily.  
"Thanks Sans." He took the offered box, plucking out a cigarette with numb fingers, and clumsily lit up. "That makes four this week. I'm gonna owe ya."  
The skeleton smirked lazily, tucking his mitts back into the relative safety of his pockets, while he ducked further into his trenchcoat to ward off the cold, wet air.

"You already owe me for three, Dale, but you know you can always count on me to have your back. Can't have the Chief of Bentley police get cranky, or everything would be up in smoke."

The police chief rolled his eyes. While being a top detective and private investigator, Sans the Skeleton had a reputation for puns, the worse the better, and it made working with the monster both fun, and vexing at times. Mostly vexing, but niether Dale, nor his precinct could ignore the fact that Sans always got results, so a few bad puns here and there were more than tolerable for the work they got.

"Too bad about the McGalihans." Dale said, his gaze flicking back to the crime scene, and then back to Sans. The skeletons gaze briefly glanced up at the Chief from under his soaked, grey fedora.  
"Yeah." He sighed through his prominent teeth. "It's just too bad niether brother could accept the inheritance split."  
Dale took a drag off his cigarette, a grunt of agreement coming out in a cloud of smoke from his ruddy nostrils.  
"You got all the paperwork for their case?"  
Sans reached into his coat, pulling out a thin manilla envelope that had been tied with a rough hemp string. He handed it to the police chief, who quickly tucked it away into the safety of his own trench.  
"Everything on the McGalihans case is in there." The skeleton said. "The false will, the widows confession, and the eldest brothers death threat letter; open and shut case." He said succinctly, before looking down at his boney wrist where there sat a small watch.  
"Hate to drop and go Dale, but I have a date with the little lady tonight, and if I'm late for dinner again, I'm boned."  
Dale chuckled weakly at the pun as he reached into his breast pocket, pulling out a bank envelope from within. He handed the small thing over to Sans, who opened it quickly to count its contents.  
"C'mon Sansy, it's all there." The police chief said in mock dismay, his hands raised up as if in surrender. Sans flashed him a lazy smirk.  
"Still gotta double check, Dale. You know how things are these days; can't be too careful." Dale openly laughed at that.  
"I miscount one payment, and that lady of yours thinks I'm a crook. You tell Frisk she's breakin' my heart."  
"I'll tell her that. You take care Dale. I'll see you when you have another case for me." Sans turned to leave, making his way towards one of the police tape lines when he heard Dale yell,  
"Hey, before you go, tell Paps he owes me another poker game." Sans only reply was a lazy wave over his shoulder before ducking under a tape line. The instant he cleared the crime scene, he vanished into thin air. Dale took one, last drag off his cigarette before it, too, wound up in the gutter.  
"Monsters." He muttered under his breath. "What I wouldn't give to just 'pop' home like that." 

~~~~  
Red velvet dress, a spritz of her favorite perfume, a touch of makeup, and her hair coiffed into a simple-yet-elegant bob; the only thing missing was a touch of lipstick, and Frisk knew that she had just the perfect shade to top it all off. The petite woman rummaged around in her makeup bag until she found the ruby red lipstick she needed to finish off her look. She pulled it out with a grin, determination spurring her on to hurry up and be ready for when her husband and business partner returned from a hard night on the job.  
She had been planning this dinner for weeks, and FINALLY she and Sans were going to have a night with just the two of them; while she loved her brother-in-law Papyrus dearly, there were times she wished he would catch a clue and give her and the hubby some privacy.  
Thankfully, however, Frisks mother Toriel, in an effort to help out her very frustrated daughter, had invited Papyrus over for cooking lessons that evening, and Frisk planned to milk this quality time with her husband for all it was worth! With her lipstick applied, she gave herself a final once over in the vanity mirror of their bedroom before scurrying out into the moderately sized kitchen of their one bedroom flat.  
Frisks chocolate eyes surveyed the scene before her and she couldn't help but swell with pride at her handiwork.  
Their little breakfast nook was staged to look like a posh booth at a fancy restaurant, complete with a white linen table cloth, courtesy of her mother, a small lit candelabra, and two porcelain plates with silver covers packed with a dinner fit for a king; fried chicken, hot dogs, and French fries.

"Well," she chuckled to herself. "A dinner fit for Sans."

The perfect touch, in her mind, was the bottle of expensive ketchup she had picked up from Grilby's earlier that day; the bartender had helped locate and order it for Frisk as a favor. She had tied a little blue ribbon around it's slender, glass neck with a little love note that read "When you kiss me, you make me red tomatoes and back." and had placed it in plain view on the table; she hoped Sans liked it, pun and all.

Suddenly, Frisk heard a familiar door slamming below the flat, and she knew Sans was stopping by in his office in the agency, most likely dropping off paperwork from his job earlier that day. Like a nimble sparrow Frisk flew out of her kitchen and into their small livingroom where a small radio sat in the corner next to a clean, but worn cream couch.  
She switched on the radio just in time to hear the first few guitar strings of Love Me Tender begin to play, and a nervous flutter of butterfly wings took flight in her breast as the King of crooners began to sing. Frisk stood a few feet in front of the door leading out of their flat, putting on her best smile while trying to curb her giddiness.  
She heard his familiar footsteps as he walked down the hall, each creaking board a herald of her beloved. The sound of boney digits grasping metal echoed in Frisks ears, and her heart raced with excitement as the door opened revealing the skeleton mug she loved most.  
Sans was greeted with quite the surprise as he walked into the now dimly lit apartment he and his wife called home. Frisk stood before him in a scintillating red dress that hugged every curve of her petite body, molding itself to her slender, graceful breasts in a way that made him hunger for more than just food, and he had to collect his wits for a moment before speaking.

"Hubba hubba!" He managed to get out as he quickly tore off his coat and hat, unceremoniously chucking them off to the side in an attempt to get to his wife as quickly as possible.  
Frisk grinned cheekily.  
"You like what you see?" She teased, a deep blush coloring her cheeks. The second Sans was free of his outside gear, he was on her, wrapping Frisk up in his boney arms and pulled tight against his chest, his lazy smirk deepening.

"Doll, I'm gonna have to call the fire brigade because you are HOT!"  
He pressed his teeth to her lips, relishing the feel of her softness before letting his tongue tease its way into an intimate tango with hers. Frisk gave a happy groan leaning into him, taking in the scent of his cologne mixed with the smell of the rain from outside and letting it wash over her senses.  
"So, what's the occasion?" He asked when they both finally came up for air. Frisk giggled.  
"Does a wife need a reason to dote on her husband?"  
Sans arched a bone brow.  
"I dote know. Does she?" He punned. Frisk rolled her eyes playfully before tugging him towards the kitchen.  
It was there, in that softly lit space he saw the fruits of his wife's labors. He stepped towards the nook, a little red bottle with his name on it glinting in the flickering candle light. Picking the bottle up he read the card attached to it first, and chuckled at the pun Frisk had put there. Sans looked over the bottle, the words "Gourmands Best Reserve Ketchup" in clear, black and gold script on its label.  
Sans glowing orbs then wandered over the rest of the table, taking in the the dinner set for two and he felt truly humbled in his soul; he was one lucky skeleton!  
"Do you......do you like it?" He heard her ask, breaking his reverie. Sans turned to face Frisk, a deep blue blush coloring his cheek bones.  
"Not gonna lie: I love it, doll. You're giving me a run for my money, but you better believe I'll ketchup to you."  
Frisk laughed at Sans bad pun as he swept her up in his embrace once more, the white orbs in his sockets burning brightly with the love and lust he had for her.

"But, I have pre-dinner snack in mind before we dig in to this lovely spread."  
Sans blue tongue flicked out lazily, licking his teeth suggestively; Pressed so close to him, Frisk could feel the "magic" bulging against her thigh and grinned as she leaned into her husband's hold, rubbing herself along the length of his body teasingly.  
"Pre-dinner snack huh? I'll bite." The skeleton grinned as he reached a digit behind Frisks back, expertly finding the zipper and tugging it down until the garment fell off her porcelain shoulders to pool on the tile floor. Before she could protest, Sans pressed another kiss to her lips, leading her out of the kitchen towards their bedroom.  
"Nibble you mind the dress, doll. I'm shirt it will be fine while we do the no pants dance." Frisk chortled as she was lead into their room, Sans closing the door behind them.  
As evening became night, the rain began to slow down until its raindrops became a soft murmur throughout the city. Adding to it's now gentled sounds, the pleasant sighs, silken groans, and pleasured voices of two lovers mingled in, like a love song only the universe could hear.


	2. Chapter 2: A New Case for Bone Brothers & Co

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This week on WitchesTale: Dancing In The Dark
> 
> A new case lands in the boney hands of everyone's favorite skeleton detective.
> 
> Is it a murder? Is it a kidnapping? Is it a diabolical donut dilemma? 
> 
> Tune in to this weeks chapter and find out!

Papyrus stood in front of his brothers messy desk clutching a bundle of case files, his foot tapping impatiently as he waited for Sans to make a decision. He couldn't help but inwardly grimace at the multitude of dirty mugs, scattered and unorganized papers, and myriad bits of junk that cluttered the once beautiful wooden desk. How was it that his big brother was a top detective, yet his work space looked like a war zone? Papyrus would never know.

"WHAT ABOUT THE WENDLE CASE?" Papyrus implored, trying to sound as pleasant as possible, doing his best to coax his brother out of his lazy mindset. The younger brother had always tried to present himself as gentlemanly and polite, but with the way Sans was dragging his feet, it was enough to drive the younger skeleton up the wall.  
Sans chewed on the end of his tooth pick as he briefly glanced over the file, leaning back in his chair with his feet propped up on his desk top.

"The Wendle case is a dud. Mrs. Wendles jewels ain't stolen." Sans closed the case file, chucking it into his pile of no-go's haphazardly, a.k.a the trash basket, which was beginning to over flow. He absentmindedly flicked his now chewed up toothpick at the pile, somehow managing to get it into the basket, much to Papyrus's disgust, and relief; a confusing mix of emotions to be sure.

"That husband of hers is a real gem. Guy has a mistress he's payin' off, and he's usin' Dame Wendles own goods to ring her in."  
Papyrus could not stop the irritated glare that swept across his face, his left brow bone twitched with his frustration and the bad puns his older brother let slip out. But, Papyrus was the consummate professional, the greatest in his mind, and he wasn't about to let Sans get out of taking a case, or get the better of him.

The tall skeleton handed his brother another folder.  
"THE BUNNINGTONS HAVE A MISSING..."  
"Kit Bunnington isn't missin', he ran off with his boyfriend. Bunny hopped on outta here." Sans interrupted. Papyrus clenched his jaw, pulling out another folder and smacking it onto the desk with a loud WHAP!

"DOGGO NEEDS HELP WITH...."

"It's in his car. He needs better drive to find his own junk."

WHAP!

"MISS MUFFET HAS..."

"Her waitress isn't stealing; Miss Muffet can't seem to hire competent staff. Really bugs me they can't count change right."

WHAP!

"TEMMIE NEEDS YOU TO FIND..."

"It's not lost, she sold it to Napstablook to buy more Temmie flakes; She forgets stuff all the time, and always winds up spooking herself; It's nothin' too cereal."  
Papyrus had reached his limit, slamming the rest of the files on the horrendous mess that was Sans desk sending junk, papers and bits of this and that flying every which way.

"SANS! YOU HAVEN'T TAKEN A SINGLE CASE SINCE THE MCGALIHANS, AND THAT WAS OVER A MONTH AGO." Papyrus scolded. His exasperation boiling over.

"EVERYONE ELSE HAS BEEN PULLING THEIR WEIGHT, EVEN FRISK, AND SHE'S BEEN FEELING SICK THIS LAST WEEK." Papyrus clapped his boney digits over his mouth the moment he realized what he'd done, barely suppressing the 'EEEEP' he tried to hold back; he'd goofed. Sans brow bones pinched together, his expression darkening.

"Whaddaya mean 'pulling their weight'?" Sans leaned forward in his desk chair, planting his feet firmly on the floor, his sockets devoid of those bright orbs.  
"Paps, I thought I said Frisk wasn't supposed to be workin' cases until she saw the doc?" Sans voice was low, almost a growl, but before he could interrogate his brother further, the center of their discussion came in through the office door like a bright ray of sunshine.

"Hey guys!" Frisk chirped as she opened the door, a box of donuts and a tray of coffee in her arms. Both skelemen straightened up, tabling their 'discussion' for later as they both went to assist Frisk with her goodies.

"Heya doll." Sans said, lightly pressing his teeth to Frisks soft, blushing cheek as he took the tray of coffee from the top of the donut box quickly snagging a to-go cup as he went; Papyrus weakly muttered his 'hello' before taking the other box and placing it on Sans' desk, allowing Frisk to dust off and smooth out her mauve vest.

"What's with the treats? Ya feelin' better today? I might have some minor cases for ya to start with, now that you're lookin' better." Sans said, his lazy grin unmoving, but his voice sounded a little irked, his sockets shooting Papyrus a quick glare.  
Sans saw Frisk stiffen for the briefest of moments, before turning to him with a sheepish look in her cinnamon eyes.

"Well, sweetheart, about that...." Her voice wavering with guilt. Sans raised a hand, stopping her in her tracks before turning his attention to his brother. 

"Hey Paps, ya mind runnin' the front desk with Metaton while we talk?" Papyrus quickly excused himself to man the front desk. The second the door closed to the older detectives office, Sans turned to face his wife with a concerned look.

"Paps let slip that you were taking cases this week while you were still under the weather." Frisk winced a little.

"That's kind of true. I was just getting paperwork finished for some of the cases Undyne closed out this week, as well as running errands for Alphys."

Sans arched a brow. "Really?" Sans drawled lazily. 

Frisk blushed, knowing full well her husband would wheedle the rest out of her one way or another; for someone with such a lack of motivation, he sure was persistent when it came to her. Frisk sighed, gently swiping away a lock of her brunette hair that had fallen in her face.

"Alright, Sans. I took one..." Sans brow bone arched even higher.  
"Ok, two jobs this week, but believe me they were minor, easy to deal with cases; no stress. Papyrus was adamant I not do them, but he couldn't stop me. I needed to do SOMETHING or I was going to go nuts being cooped up in the office."

Sans let loose a heavy sigh; at least his brother had tried to stop her, he had to give him that.

"Who were the clients, and what were the cases?" He asked, keeping his tone neutral.

"First case was Grilby. He needed help locating his father's pocket watch. He thought it had been stolen when he went to La Petite Danseur, but it turns out he'd left it there accidentally, and the staff had put it in their lost-and-found."

Sans took a sip of his coffee before urging Frisk to "Go on."

"Second case was at Miss Muffets."  
At hearing the mention of the spider monsters name, he couldn't help but chuckle.

"Lemme' guess: she thought one of her waitresses was stealing?" At seeing Fisks eyes go wide, her brows reaching as high as they could go, Sans let out a full guffaw.

"How did you know about that?" She asked, puzzled. "I solved that job two days ago." She looked at her husband and watched as his signature smirk took over his skeleton mug.

"Paps brought the file on that up to me before ya got in. Must have gotten mixed up somehow."

"Or maybe she wanted the case reopened? She's never satisfied with the work we do, but it's good pay I guess." Frisk sighed, suddenly looking and sounding wiped out.  
Sans reached out his hand and cupped the side of her soft face, his sockets a mix of concern and love.

"Look doll, I know ya ain't too happy with me pullin' you from the roster, but ya got me worried. You been green in the gills every day this week, and it's been feelin' kinda fishy."  
His wife giggled softly at his pun, knowing he was trying to lighten the mood.

"Please, tell me ya went and saw the doctor today." Sans said succinctly. Frisk grinned at him.

"That I did first thing this morning. Didn't you see me check up on you before I left?" The skeleton smirked, loving his wife's attempt at a pun.

"Aaaaaand...?" 

"And Doctor Ramirez will have my official test results in a couple of days. He said for the time being to take it easy because he's pretty sure I'm..."  
A sudden round of metallic knocks interrupted Frisk. She and Sans both looked over at the door seeing Mettatons' silhouette in the frosted glass.

"Whaddaya want?" Sans asked loudly, sounding more annoyed than he wanted to. Mettaton opened the door and peeked his meticulously coiffed head in, a pink blush on his metal mug.  
"Sorry to bug you boss, but Lieutenant Benson is here for you. He says it's of utmost importance you come with him."  
"Can it wait a minute? We're in the middle of somethin' here." Sans huffed.  
Mettaton shook his head vigorously.  
"Lieutenant Benson insisted I not come back without you, or he'd do something uncouth. Nasty fellow. I don't think he likes monsters..."  
Sans sighed heavily, his bright orbs rolling in annoyance making Frisk giggle at his teenager-esque reaction. He turned his sockets towards her, grabbing both her hands in his he brought them both up to his teeth, kissing the back of each hand.  
"Can ya hold that thought until I get back, doll?" He asked tentatively. Frisk smiled warmly at him, pressing a kiss to his cheek bone, making Sans blush a soft shade of blue.  
"We'll finish this conversation once you get back."  
Sans gave his signature lazy grin, leaning in to peck his wife on her forehead before leaving her side. As he grabbed his trenchcoat and fedora, he quickly snagged a donut from the goody box.  
"Huh." He mused inwardly as he liberated the top most donut. "Must have run out of colors." He turned on his heel leaving the box open as he shoved the doughy treat in his mouth, leaving a slight smudge of pink frosting on his teeth.  
As he stepped out of his office, his brother rushed in with another pile of files. He heard his brother set them down on his desk before asking if he, too could have a donut.

"They're for everybody Paps. Go right ahead." He heard Frisk say.  
"OH, THEY LOOK DELICIOUS! BUT, WHY DID THEY ONLY GIVE US THE PINK AND THE BLUE ONES?"  
♤♡◇♧  
The crime scene Lieutenant Benson had driven Sans to was in the warf district, an area that housed a good portion of the cities working poor. The folk who lived there worked the docks and whatever jobs that managed to come in with the tide. It was a tough life, but the humans and monsters that, for the most part, cohabitated peacefully seemed to eke out a living.  
The police Chevy pulled up onto the boardwalk as if it belonged there. In front of a dilapidated apartment building lines of yellow caution tape blocked off one of the apartments on the ground floor like haphazardly strewn party streamers after a night's drunken revelry. An unusually small handful of cops stood around snapping pictures, taking statements from witnesses, and documenting anything and everything that could be a potential lead.  
Sans hopped out of the vehicle as quickly as possible, swiftly making his way to the crime scene and leaving his "ride" in a trail of dust; Lieutenant Benson was a bit of a racist prick, and took any opportunity he could to make backhanded jabs at the monster detective. It never really bothered Sans, who met the veiled, racist barbs with an arsenal of puns; that was unless Benson brought up Frisk, then all bets were off, and Sans wasn't above showing the Lieutenant a bad time. But, spending any more time with the jerk than was necessary was still not something Sans wanted.

"Great! You're here!" Chief Dale waltzed up to the skeleton detective, reaching out to shake hands, which Sans always appreciated. Dale was a decent, albeit easily flustered fellow, but when it came to monsters and just people in general, he was a good man.  
Sans clasped the chief's hand briefly before Dale lead him to the scene of the crime.

"So, what's the story thus far, Dale?"  
The police Chief grimaced as he lifted a tape line for them to duck under as they headed into the apartment that was the center of attention.  
"It's bad, Sansy. We're looking at a possible murder."  
Sans shot Dale a confused look.  
"With so few officers to take care of the crime scene? What's with that?"  
Dale huffed, clearly irritated.  
"Some big shot ambassador from that reclusive island country, Vigrid I think it's called? They're here to open an embassy; first time ever they're opening up to outside countries and the government had me pull most of my officers for their protection. Figures."  
Sans shrugged. "Them's the breaks, no bones about it." Dale smirked.  
"So," He continued. "Tell me what we got goin' on here."

"This here is the Leony residents. Newly wed couple. Monster was a lion type, went by the name of Felix, wife was a human by the name of Gale."  
As they entered the flat, Sans brilliant orbs quickly did a once-over of the livingroom where the crime had apparently taken place. His sharp mind making note of every finite detail, piecing together things like one would put together a jigsaw puzzle. On the surface he made mental notes on everything physical he could see, but when he activated his left eye, that's when things got interesting!

Sans felt the familiar warmth of his magic activate, and to his shock the room lit up like Christmas as it came into view; He had never seen so much magic residue in all his life!  
Monsters give off very distinct colors in their magic, with each one having a color that was uniquely their own, kind of like a monster version of a fingerprints. Humans also gave off a color, but theirs was very different in how it manifested, and in comparison to monsters it was like looking at the difference between water colors and oil paints.

The colors that manifested in his socket were beyond brilliant. Three, very distinct energies painted the room in intense, violent shades of color that made a Jackson Pollock painting look bland in comparison. The first color was a bright shade of yellow, it's energy radiating strength, protectiveness, desperation; this must have been Felix's magic.  
At the center of the room was where Felix's color was strongest, with a glowing pale pink, watery energy directly behind it. When Sans focused on the pink he could feel a softness, like that of a mother's love, but it was tainted with terror. Something about that energy struck Sans as peculiar, and when he noted the other two energies in conjunction with the others, he saw the scene play out before his very eyes.  
Felix was protecting his wife from an attacker, whose color was a sickening shade of green mixed with red, and the combination of those colors, and the energies tied into it was enough to turn the skeletons proverbial stomach. Was this attacker human, or monster...or maybe...? The detective shoved that 'what-if' into the back of his thoughts, instead choosing to focus on the crime scene; he'd have to work that one out later.  
Pure malice, jealousy, bloodlust, and hatred oozed from the green/red assailant, and by the way the patterns played out, it was directed at Felix's wife, Gale. But why? Sans thought to himself.

"Hey Dale." Sans called over his shoulder to the Police Chief. Dale stepped over a tipped over lamp towards him.  
"You find something, Sansy?" He asked, tipping his hat up and peering around.  
"Whaddaya have on the wife?"  
Dale pulled out his notepad, thumbing through his notes.  
"Lessee' here....Gale Leony: 32 year old human female. Estimated 5'7, with slight build. Her neighbors describe her as a sweet-natured, quiet woman. Works for the local Kindergarten as a teachers aid. Apparently she volunteers twice a week at the library as a tutor as well. Not much else on that."

Sans arched a brow.  
"Nothin' else? Current activities? Possible enemies?"  
Dale flipped over another page noisily, muttering under his breath as he skimmed his own notes.  
"Uuuuuuh....oh yeah! One of the neighbors was a close, personal friend of Gales. Lives two doors down. A sheep monster by the name of Lanny. She said that Gale was making frequent visits to a Dr. Ramirez on the north side of town the last couple of months, though she wasn't sure why. Apparently both her, and her husband were acting pretty secretive about that."

For some reason that name sounded familiar. Hadn't Frisk mentioned that particular doctor? Looked like Detective Sans was going to have to pay the good physician a visit at some point in his investigation.  
The detective turned his magic eye once more to the crime scene, watching its story unfold in front of him as if he were watching a film. Green/red comes into the livingroom from the front door, followed by a burst of its energy. Felix comes in from the bedroom, most likely to investigate the sound, followed by Gale, who comes out of the kitchen.  
Green/red beelines for Gale, but is intercepted by Felix, who puts his wife behind him, where Sans can see his magic residue flare up in that spot, as well as physical gouges from a weapon in the surrounding wall; he was protecting his mate from the would-be assailant. Green/red attempts to get around Felix, slahes with the weapon knocking down a picture and makes a magic attack against the human woman with all movements going right for her.  
"This looks to be a deliberate attack on Gale." Sans said aloud. The police chief looked up, puzzled.  
"Whatcha got, Sansy?" Sans held up his index bone, gesturing to give him a moment and Dale watched as the skeleton continued to survey the room.  
Green/red makes a lunge for the couple, but Felix throws out another magic attack, knocking the attacker away long enough for Felix to grab Gale and run outside.  
Sans followed their trail, stepping back outside the little apartment, and when he did, his head almost exploded at the sheer amount of magical carnage that lay in front of him.  
A fourth, insanely powerful magic painted the area in a blend of blues and purples, and at first Sans thought that maybe there were two more assailants until he noticed that the blue/purple color combo was similar to Green/red: it was a single being.  
When the skeleton reached out with his magic, probing to see what he could feel, he was almost knocked on his ass. Ancient magics flooded his senses mixed with the feelings of cheekiness, pure confidence, and absolute divine feminine power; their fourth player was female, and Sans was willing to bet his entire career on that.  
This new contender burst onto the scene as if from nowhere, landing out on the boardwalk planting herself between Green/red and its intended target. Green/red lashes out with magic, only to be stopped dead by the interloper, who somehow knocks Green/red back with some kind of projectiles.  
Sans could feel sweat beads forming on his skull, and he knew if he didn't wrap this up quick, his magic would deplete to the point of risking his health, but he just HAD to see where this went; He pressed on, trying desperately to get any kind of clue as to what happened to Gale, and see if she was potentially still alive.  
Green/red dashes foreword from where it landed; one of the projectiles must have hit as the evidence of dried blood spatter lay strewn where it had gotten hit leaving a trail all the way up to where the interloper and the couple were. The interlopers magic flares up in front of her, a shield maybe(?), but Green/red turns at the last possible second, swooping right behind her and nailing Felix leaving the monsters corpse: a pile of dust.  
Sans knew he had to stop; His skull felt like it was about to crack open, his left eye socket burned fiercely, and his power was ebbing dangerously close to his limit.  
"Just...a little more." He told himself.  
The interlopers magic suddenly engulfs Gales energy, leaving only Green/reds magic and more blood spatter. No footprints, no more energy imprints. Nothing. It was as if Gale and the interloper had flown off, or completely vanished; Green/red had reacted furiously. The spot where the other two had once occupied was decorated with physical slash marks and leftover residue of sheer rage and frustration at having their target spirited away; Green/red then stalked off towards the shipping yard.  
Sans felt his knees buckle and he finally shut off his magic. He stumbled to one knee, his skull buzzing like a swarm of enraged Hornets, but the skeleton couldn't help but smirk; Gale was most likely still alive. Through all the altercation, not once did he see her energy touched by death, or harm, and that other person had been trying to protect her and Felix which meant...  
"Dale," Sans called over his shoulder, his voice sounding more like a pained groan as he sat down on the ground, too exhausted to move towards the bench 3 feet from his spot. The police chief rushed over, a grim expression on his thin mug.  
"Oh brother, you over did it again didn't you?" The chief of police grimaced, seeing Sans looking so beat. He reached down and pulled the skeleton up and moved him to sit over on the bench, waving away a couple of other officers who had come over, concerned at the sight of the monster detective.  
"Your wife is going to kill me, but aside from that, what'd you find?"  
"Put out an urgent missing person's call to all your precincts: Gale Leony is still alive."  
Dale whistled in surprise, but having known Sans for so long, he didn't bother to ask him how he knew.  
"Do we have a lead?" He asked tentatively.  
Sans let loose a deep sigh, leaning back against the bench and closing his weary sockets.  
"I've a couple in mind, but I'll need all the notes your little team has gathered. You're also going to want to warn the community that a killer is still on the loose. There may be more clues towards the shipping yard, so looking there might be a good idea."  
Dale grunted in agreement before turning towards the few officers he had and issued orders. As the chief rounded up all the notes, he left Sans to rest a bit, hoping the sea breeze would cool him down a little.  
As the detective sat resting, his mind racing with the data he had gleaned, he suddenly felt as if he were being watched.  
The skeleton cracked a socket open, a dim orb blearily looking around until he saw it.  
At first he thought that maybe he he was seeing things; he had almost pushed himself over the limit not 10 minutes ago. He blinked, opening both black sockets wide open, his white orbs focusing.  
Nope. He wasn't seeing things after all. Perched a few yards from where he rested, sitting atop the mast of a fishing boat a massive, golden eagle roosted. At first Sans thought that it was just some lowly sea raptor blown in from the north, until he realized that it was starring directly at him, it's off-putting gaze unwavering in the slightest.  
And that's when he saw the bauble that hung around the birds neck: a glistening necklace of silver with, from what he could see, a gem encrusted disc of some kind glinting in the light of the sun.  
He locked eyes with the bird, and it was then he felt something strike both awe, and fear into his core, and for the briefest moment he reactivated his left eye, headless of the pain he knew it would cause; it couldn't be possible, could it?  
In that moment, as the guttering flames of his magic burned his socket like a red-hot poker, he saw the golden eagle, it's body engulfed in that intense blue/purple magic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! That's chapter 2 down!  
> Our players are making their way to the center stage, and our adventure is taking off!
> 
> As always, thank you for taking the time to read this.  
> It is my hope that this humble writer brings you joy.
> 
> Until next week!  
> Bon appetité!


	3. Chapter 3: Witch Way Did She Go?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It looks like the chase is on!  
> This week in WitchesTale: The cases are adding up, and so is the mystery! Will the Bone Brothers & Company be able to stop our villain from striking again?  
> Or will Lady Luck curse the die they cast?
> 
> Tune in this week for the dumpster  
> fire that just won't expire!  
> WitchesTale: Dancing In The Dark!

The Bone Brothers office looked like a war zone with the sheer amount of case files, paperwork, and clues each team member had been assigned to examine strewn all over the place; with people missing and a potential serial killer on the loose, it was all hands on deck.  
Four days after Sans strange encounter at the Leony crime scene, three more attacks happened, three more women kidnapped, three more deaths to account for, and the city of Bentley was beginning to freak out.  
"....the Ambassador from Vigrid has yet to make an appearance with the government, but a delegate has already been dispatched to her ship to begin discussions. Several sources say that her delay in meeting with officials is being bogged down by customs, but meetings will commence once customs is satisfied. In other news, reports are coming in of a murder crime spree happening in Bentley that is beginning to cause wide spread panic for mixed race couples. Police are advising..."

"Paps, will ya kill the radio." Sans groaned from his desk, which was currently strewn with files and notes, and his head, which lay face down amongst it all; at a glance he looked like he was trying to absorb material via osmosis, but anyone who knew him would know he was truly whupped.  
Papyrus got up silently, making his way over to the little radio sitting precariously atop a stack of files, his long, boney digits effortlessly switching off the device. Once silenced he made his way back over to the couch his brother had in his office, flopping tiredly into it's plush embrace as he reached up and loosened his tie.

"SANS," The taller brother said, rubbing at his closed sockets, clearly fighting the urge to curl up and sleep right where he had landed.  
"I THINK WE SHOULD CALL IT A NIGHT."

The only thing he heard from his older brother was an indistinct grumble, followed by a soft rumble of snores; his big brother was out cold.  
Usually Papyrus would have scolded Sans for being lazy and falling asleep at his desk, but considering the hell his brother, and even their entire staff was going through, he figured he'd let it slide just this once; Frisk was most likely going to be upset, but he knew her understanding nature would allow for one more night spent away from home, considering the how hard Sans was working.

Papyrus wasn't one for sleeping in the attire he'd worked in. In fact, he was the kind of fellow who always made sure his suits were clean pressed; his outfit, before stepping out, was to be crisp and fresh, and he always had a clean set of pajamas before bed. While others might have called him vain, he simply found that if you were clean and dressed nicely it bolstered your confidence, and made one feel generally good about themselves; and nobody liked sleeping in dirty clothing!  
However, having been awake for almost 24 hours and being, as his sister-in-law would call it: "Brain Fried", he had zero fucks to give about how, or even where he slept so long as it was comfortable.  
Papyrus felt his sockets grow heavy, and as they slowly drifted down, sleep pulling him into it's sweet, dark embrace a sudden knock at the door startled him. He sat bolt upright, his soul hammering in his core as his feet hit the floor and a boney hand flew to his chest.

"WOWIEE!" He exclaimed, popping up from his cozy spot on the couch and rushing to the door, adrenaline surging through his system. He quickly thrust it open, sticking his face out asking in a hurried voice, "WHO'S THERE?!?"  
Apparently his disheveled visage and the speed at which he had flung open the door was enough to elicit a startled squeal from Alphys, who stood with her little claws pressed into her cheeks in shock; thankfully she hadn't been hit.  
Dr. Alphys was the resident "Crime Scientist" on staff, and she was bloody brilliant at what she did. Need samples examined? See Alphys. Need your gear upgraded? Alphys again. She was also an inventor of sorts, and it was that little, Sunshine yellow lizard monsters dream to win a Nobel Prize for her work in solving unsolvable crimes with her inventions.

"I-I....um....uh...." she stuttered, her cheeks turning an almost orange color; she was blushing from nose to tail. Papyrus looked down, his bleary sockets squinted at the petite lizard monster as if he were having trouble focusing.  
"OH, ALPHYS. IT'S YOU. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE SO LATE?" He asked, his voice cracking from exhaustion. Alphys carefully readjusted her large glasses nervously.

"H-hi, Papyrus. I uh... I have some good news, I g-guess." She stammered, looking to the floor shyly.

"EXCELLENT! WE COULD USE SOME GOOD NEWS ON THIS INFURIATING CASE." He sighed as he stepped out of his brother's office, closing the door quietly behind him. Alphys looked confused, starring at the skeleton, and then the door.  
"Um....P-Papyrus? Is S-Sans not uh....not going to j-join us?" She asked softly. Papyrus shook his head "No", as he motioned for Alphys to keep quiet.

"FOR ONCE I AM LETTING HIM SLEEP AT HIS DESK. HE'S EXHAUSTED TRYING TO SOLVE WHO OUR MYSTERY KIDNAPPER IS, WHERE OUR KIDNAPP VICTIMS ARE, AND WHO, OR WHAT OUR MURDERER IS."  
Alphys cast a sad gaze at the office door before turning her eyes on the tall fellow.

"W-well, that's what I'm uh, here about. I think I have a way to, er, capture a picture of the culprits."  
Papyrus grinned tiredly; at least there was some good news.  
"T-there's a catch though..." Alphys follow up instantly turned Papyrus face into a frown.

"OF COURSE THERE IS." He grumbled to himself. He leaned against the wall, crossing his boney arms over his chest, his fingers rubbing his pinched brow.  
"WHAT'S THE CATCH?" He asked, not really wanting to hear her answer, but it was necessary.  
The good Dr. took a deep breath, and that could only mean one thing: she was going to give him and Sans a doozy of a task.  
"W-well, you see the thing is uh, I um, need a fresh s-sample of the mystery kidnappers magic, or the murders magic."  
The tall skeleton arched a brow bone.

"HOW FRESH IS "FRESH" ALPHYS; WHAT YOU ASK MIGHT NOT BE POSSIBLE."  
The little yellow lizard monster gently pushed her large glasses back up her snout, trying to conceal her blush.

"W-well, as fu-fresh as you can get it. The s-sample can be almost uh, anything, but the fresher the better."  
Papyrus hated the idea of another crime being committed, but seeing as how it was most likely going to occur again regardless, he at least had the grim knowledge that they would inevitably get their "fresh sample" to finally crack their case. And as fate would have it, serendipity rang the phone in Sans office; the clock on the wall read 3am.

Sans and Papyrus had slammed the hastily made coffee that Dr. Alphys had concocted for them, and other than the occasional twitching eye bone or involuntary spasming of a limb, they were wired for sound!  
Papyrus had to hand it to the good Dr.: Sans had never perked up so fast before in all their lives, and he thought it might be a good secret weapon for later on when his brother got another case of the lazies.  
Papyrus parked his Skylark 2 blocks west of where the action, according to police Chief Dale, was taking place in the old catholic church of Saint Magdalenes. Even from where they were, they could hear sirens screeching, and the shouts of people in disarray echoing across the walls of buildings; both brothers kept their magics at the ready before bolting towards whatever sinister scene that fate had in store for them.

♤♡◇♧

Moonlight poured in through a shattered stain glass window like liquid silk, splashing the wall and part of the ceiling in ethereal bursts of color interspersed with jagged slices of silver. Standing amidst the riot of hues on the wall, acting as if gravity was just a suggestion and not a law of physics to be obeyed, was the figure of a short, curvaceous woman.  
Both light and shadow seemed to cling to this mysterious lady, hugging her plump body like a voracious lover as she stood, a ruby gun pointed at the darkness looming before her.  
Her face, all but covered with a veil save for her bright blue eyes, that hid behind a pair of stylish glasses.  
She chuckled as the sirens outside the church wailed out, almost mournfully in time with the whirling searchlights; no matter how much light was shown upon them, no matter how hard the fuzz outside looked, nothing would reach them in Purgatorio.

"Tell me something, little one: why fight the inevitable?" The womans voice was dulcet, like the strains of angelic music to anyone who could hear, but the one entity that could merely snarled at her beautiful sound. The woman laughed as she cocked her gun, a second one in her other hand aimed at the dark void yawning before her, where a glowing pair of red eyes began to form like flames.

"You've missed every one of your targets, and you're beginning to grow more unstable; just give up. Unless...you want to fight me?" She purred, eliciting a roar that sounded much like an angry child echo through the chamber.  
"Well, if that's your answer then, let's dance!"  
Just as the woman lunged forward to attack, the cops burst into the church, guns pointed at...nothing?  
~~~~~  
Sans and Papyrus were hot on the heels of the police that entered the church, but were shocked to find the place as empty and quiet as a tomb, that is until Sans felt the air pressure around them suddenly become heavy and charged with energy; something huge was either about to go down, or was going down and the gaggle of police in there was in danger.

"Dale, get yer team out of here. There's nothin' worth their lives lurkin' around this place." Sans said through gritted teeth, beads of sweat began to form on his skull. The whole group of cops seemed to be too dazed to move, as if the weight of the energy crackling invisibly through the air held them captive, like deer in headlights.  
Papyrus shot the stunned chief a stern look.

"OFFICER DALE. CLEARLY THE PERPETRATORS ARE NOT HERE. WE MUST NOW INVESTIGATE, IN PEACE, PLEASE." Papyrus voice held an edge to it that Dale had never heard before, and it was enough to shake the cop back to his senses. He looked over at Sans, and then back to Papyrus before giving a nod, rounding up his squad.  
Dale had known Sans, and in turn, Papyrus for many years, so when he saw the younger brother so grim he knew something was up, but he also knew better than to ask unnecessary questions and to trust in his long-time friends.

"Alright team, looks like nothing's in here. Let's get outside and create a perimeter, and keep the public from interfering with the detectives search for clues. Let's get'em calm and settled out there boys."  
A few officers grumbled, none as loudly as Lieutenant Benson, but they were nonetheless kicked outside to do as their chief commanded.  
The moment the massive wooden doors to the church were closed both brothers summoned their magics.  
"You feelin' that Paps? Feels bad to the bone." Sans asked as his "eye" began to ignite. Papyrus had his bone spears at the ready, completely ignoring his brothers pun.  
"I DO INDEED, SANS. THE GREAT PAPYRUS MISSES NOTHING! ARE YOU READY TO GIVE ME *"INSIGHT"?" Sans only nodded, a smirk taking over his face.  
"Let's give our otherworldly friends a bad time."  
"DO LET'S!" His brother retorted before Sans eye flames engulfed them both in a blaze of blue light.

The second they stepped into Purgatorio a shadow-clad woman jumped in front of them, throwing up a shield of prismatic blue and purple magic that almost blinded Sans and Papyrus respectively; a barrage of lightning strikes from across the room hit the shield with an eerie thud.

"Oh, fantastic!" They heard the woman before them bemoan teasingly. "MORE uninvited party guests."  
A load roar that sounded like a wounded animal and an angry child combined shook the rafters of the church. The lovely lady flicked a veiled gaze over her shoulder at the bone brothers.

"If you'll excuse me. I need to have a word with our host." She said with a wink.  
"I suggest you two get out while you can. This one here," she pointed with a gun at the thing taking shape on the smashed alter before them.  
"...plays for keeps, and I do so hate to disappoint. Not to mention, I couldn't bare to see such a handsome face marred." The lady purred, not daring to hide the lascivious glance she shot at Papyrus.  
Sans and Papyrus looked at each other, shock on both of their faces. Sans couldn't believe he was witnessing a human woman freely using magic! This was not possible, and yet they watched on as this "witch" used it as if it was an every day thing; Papyrus couldn't believe he'd just been hit on!  
The brothers stared unabashedly as she shifted her voluptuous body from human to that of a pitch black tiger covered in dazzling jewels. A silver crown sat atop her head, a blue silk ribbon with strange blazing symbols wrapped up her forelimbs to fly freely behind her, and hanging just in sight around her furred throat was a silver amulet encrusted with opals that Sans recognized; that golden eagle from a few days before had been wearing that exact thing!  
The tigress roared shaking the earth beneath their feet, and causing both skelemen to clap their boney hands over their ear holes in a futile attempt to block out the piercing noise. They felt the thud of every paw as it slammed into the ground, the witch running full tilt at the shapeless monstrosity that was bubbling up, and growing out ontop of the broken alter like a cancerous blob.

"Such a naughty beasty!" The tigress chuckled as if she hadn't just body slammed a disturbing creature of questionable origins. The heavy cat easily dodged a tendril of muck that whipped out in hopes of hitting the grinning witch.  
"Almost!" The witch drawled, and it was as if time itself slowed down in the eyes of Sans and Papyrus. They watched as the tigress shifted back into her womanly form, dodging a series of attacks as if the supernatural speed of the gelatinous whips were too slow. 

The sound of glass shattering rang out like the tinkling of a thousand tiny bells, snapping the brothers out of their stooper to see a massive tentacle shoot towards them from the pristine windows it had just destroyed. Both skeletons dodged; Sans reflexively fired off a Gaster Blaster expertly burning the limb of the creature where it struck. The scream from the thing was horrendous, shattering the rest of the windows with its cruel decibel, while a stench so putrid and heinous fouled the air.  
Papyrus grinned like a conquering hero as he twirled one of his bone spears like a dandies walking cane, completely unfazed by the noxious odor surrounding him.

"HAH! YOU'RE TOO SLOW FOR THE GREAT DETECTIVE PAPYRUS AND HIS PARTNER, SANS! NYEH HEH HEH!" He cackled. The tall-boned detective was feeling an enormous sense of bravado after having been flirted with by the delectable mystery that was currently summoning demonic-looking heels to curb stomp another massive tentacle.

The sound of Papyrus's laugh turned the salacious womans veiled head. She locked eyes with Papyrus and blew a naughty kiss his way, winking flirtatiously before striking a sensual pose.  
With one hand hovering just below her right breast, her ruby gun tip barely a breadth away from a pert nipple, and the other hand with twin gun in tow, pressed low on her belly in a scandalous tease, the witch grinned.

"While I enjoyed the foreplay darling, I think it's time we both got off." She purred low in her throat. With one, decisive motion, the woman swept out a leg in a half moon, the other stepping forward gracefully as she moved her gun-wielding hands over herself like a lovers caress.  
A deep, blazing purple crest opened up beneath the woman that sparked with little arcs of blue electricity. Her outfit, not her, jumped and it was as if the whole thing was unraveling before the bone brothers very eyes, faster than a speeding bullet. In less time than it took to blink she stood almost completely naked, save for the thin, blue etched ribbons that did almost nothing to hide the womans most intimate parts.  
As her unraveling outfit swarmed about her, all but her sapphire blue eyes with green ringed pupils showing, she shot the brothers one last, mischievous look.  
"So sorry gentlemen." The witch said in a husky voice.  
"But, I'm afraid this is a tango meant for two." A blue ribbon suddenly snaked off a creamy, white shoulder and found it's way into Papyrus hands. It fizzled into smoke in his skeletal digits until all that was left was a purple rose with a note attached to it.

"I think you naughty lads must have a fever! Your only hope is to see the doctor: he'll treat the cause, but I'll handle the symptoms."

The last thing either brother heard was a female voice echoing throughout the chamber in a tongue niether had ever heard, but felt deep down in the very depth in their souls:  
"AVAVAGO!"

The next thing Sans knew was that he was flat on his back on the cold marble floor of the church, his magic eye safely doused, and his body feeling as if he'd been run over by a runaway train. The world around him was quiet, save for the murmurs of the crowd outside, and the occasional whoop of a police vehicle, it was as if nothing had happened.  
Something sweet-tasting and spicy-cool, like peppermints, coated his magic tongue. An experimental flick and it was then Sans realized he had a sucker in his mouth. Weakly he reached up and pulled out a long, paper stick that had a green, leaf shaped candy sitting almost cheekily atop.  
He rolled the flavor around in his mouth, and inwardly laughed; he could taste the magic in it, could feel it's restorative powers seeping into his tired bones.  
"Hey Paps. Paps!" Sans called out from where he lay. He heard the uncomfortable, cringeworthy thump of bone-on-wood; Paps must have gotten lucky and landed in a pew.

"WHAT, SHANS?" He heard his brothers slurred words; it sounded like he had something in his mouth.  
"You get a lolly, too?" He asked as his mind reeled with what they had just gone through. He heard his brother sigh a tired, couldn't-believe-what-he'd-just-seen kind of exhalation, and it amazed Sans how Paps was so good at emoting that even his breathing conveyed emotional complexity.  
"YUP." Was all he got.  
"Hey Paps?"  
"YESH?"  
"Of all the shit we just saw, there's only one thing I need to know."  
The younger brother perked up for a moment, genuinely curious.  
"AND WHAT EXACTLY WOULD THAT BE, BROTHER?" He asked. He heard a snort from the floor a few feet away, and it was then reality hit Papyrus like an ice-cold bucket of water.

"Witch way did our kidnapper go?"  
Papyrus gave a long, exasperated grunt.  
"DAMNIT SANS!!!" The older brothers exhausted laughter echoed throughout the church accompanied by his brothers irritated groans, and to Sans it was a great relief; they were alive, they had fresh magic samples in the form of candy, and they needed to pay a certain Doctor a visit, but only after a nap. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOWWIE! That's another chapter down, and we're just getting warmed up! I had a blast writing this, and it is my sincerest hope that you have fun with it, too!
> 
> Some notes in here:  
> INSIGHT has an asterisk.  
> Insight is a special ability Sans can use with his magic eye. It allows him to share an ability with someone who is a relative, or with whom he has a deep bond with who can also use magic. In this case Sans uses it to grant his brother the ability to pass through the veil into Purgatorio for the first time. It's based off the same principle as his "Detectives Eye". Totally not canon to Undertale; Just a fun invention of my own. :3  
> Until next week!  
> Bone-apetité! X3


	4. Chapter 4: What's Up, Doc?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This week on WitchesTale: Dancing In The Dark:
> 
> Papyrus takes center stage as a rather tasty case lands in his lap, and Sans is thrown for a loop with a shock of his own!  
>  Will there be massive, mechanical mayhem from Mettaton? Will Alphys and Undyne get their lunch?
> 
> Tune in this week for the strangest tale you'll never regale!

Dr. Alphys was thrilled, her steps almost a jaunty bounce as she put the finishing touches on her latest pet project for the Bone Brothers. She took a step back from her work desk which, at the moment, had springs and cogs laying haphazardly across it's surface.

"Hmmmm....." she hummed to herself.  
"I wonder if it needs something more eye-catching? It feels like it's missing something." She tapped a little yellow claw against her cheek thoughtfully. As she sat there, pondering over her finished prototype, the door to her laboratory was flung open violently letting in a bright burst of natural light followed by the tall, muscular blue form of the Bone Brothers resident weapons expert.  
Undyne strode down the stairs into the basement lab, her arms laden with assorted packages, and a to-go bag from Grilbys pub, eyes rolling as her partner didn't even respond to her sudden appearance. 

"Hey nerd, I brought lunch!" Undyne piped up, but Alphys was so deep in thought that she didn't budge.  
"Hello-o-o!" The fish woman waved a webbed hand in front of Alphys face, still no dice, that is until a devilishly delicious idea popped into her head.  
She grinned, exposing her sharp, pearly white shark teeth before taking hold of the velvety soft, yellow cheeks of the good Doctor and pressed her lips to Alphys mouth.

"Mmmmmmmmm!" She dramatically groaned, laughing like a maniac in her head as her actions achieved the desired results she was looking for.  
Alphys facial expressions flew across her little face so fast, it was a wonder to Undyne how she didn't have a headache! At first she was dazed, then shocked, then embarrassed, and then finally delighted; she grabbed hold of Undynes slender cheeks, pulling her into a deeper kiss before coming up for air.

"H-hi b-babe!" The lizard stammered as her blush made her turn a deep, shade of orange from nose to tail. Undyne tickled her lovers chin teasingly before stepping in front of the device.  
"So, is this your newest secret weapon? It looks like an old fashioned camera." She said, arching a perfectly groomed eyebrow. Alphys grinned proudly, flashing her adorable buck teeth.  
"It m-may look simple, but this b-baby has the capability to c-capture a picture of our culprits in the alternate dimensional space." Alphys beamed, but then she felt her lips begin to bow into a frown; Undyne was starring so hard at the camera that Alphys was certain a spear might appear in it at any moment; did she hate it?  
"Would be really cool if it could capture the criminals, too." Undyne murmured, and it was as if a divine lightbulb went off over Alphys head. Her eyes grew as big as dinner plates and a delighted grin stretched her pudgy cheeks.

"Darling! That's brilliant!" She exclaimed. The fish woman stood up, taking a moment before it dawned on her the cause for her girlfriend's excitement. She put her hands on her hips, a haughty, toothy grin lit her face.  
"What can I say? I'm amazing."

"Ooooooh! All I have to do is rotate the transmogrified lenses and adjust the essence extractor to the right magics we want captured..." Alphys went off on a tangent, her words tumbling from her lips in a torrent of technical jargon that had Undyne blinking in confusion, but nonetheless impressed.

She threw her blue, webbed hands up.  
"Wait, wait, wait." She said, stopping her girlfriend's flow of thought.  
"If I understand what you're carrying on about: my idea to capture criminals instead of just snap their pictures is something that can actually work?"  
Alphys grinned.  
"It certainly is! I'm sh-shocked I didn't think of it first, but y-you're observation was the boost I was lacking!"  
Undyne was practically beaming at her lovers praise; she wasn't just all braun, and she couldn't wait to brag to Papyrus about how AMAZING she was at assisting Alphys in making a breakthrough.  
As the two of them settled down for lunch, a familiar pair of faces came down the stairs looking a little rough around the edges, yawning and carrying a mug of coffee each.  
Sans and Papyrus both looked like hell warmed over. Their sockets both looked deeper, and dark smudges creased the orbitals of both skelemen. Even their bones looked a bit off, looking for all the world as if they had been dipped in pale grey paint; Frisk had mentioned that both fellas had been burning the midnight oil ever since they started this case.

"Afternoon ladies." Sans drawled lazily before sipping his coffee. Alphys managed a meek 'Hello', while her girlfriend grinned and waved. Papyrus was uncharacteristically quiet, as if he were lost in a daydream on cloud 9, something that Undyne noticed immediately.

"Hey weenie! What's with the face?" She gave her buddy a playful shove. He took a moment, shaking himself free of whatever it was he had on his mind. Before he could answer, however, Sans pipped up.

"Paps got hit on by our mystery lady, and she gave him a present." Both jaws of the monster women hit the floor.

"Whaaaaaaat?" Undyne practically giggle-squealed, her cool facade slipping. "Let me see!"  
"D-did she really? W-what is it? What is it?" Alphys giggled. Papyrus cheek bones blushed bright orange, and while he was both proud and embarrassed to show off the item in question, he knew that if he didn't both ladies would find a way to wheedle it out of him.  
Reaching into his breast pocket he withdrew the small, velvet-soft flower with the tiny note stuck to it, unfurling his boney fingers to reveal it sitting dead-center of his palm. Both women peered down, eyes glittering with awe at the token of affection, but Alphys was practically drooling.  
"M-may I touch it?" She asked shyly. The tall skeleton thought for a moment, before handing her the bloom.

"JUST BE CAREFUL WITH IT." He insisted, which prompted Undyne and Sans to tease him, further darkening his face.  
"Did our kidnapper say anything when she gave this to you?" Undyne smirked as she watched the skeleton puff out his chest.

"THAT BEAUTEOUS WOMAN CALLED ME, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HANDSOME." The girls giggled at his boasting.  
"Ooooooh! This thing has the strongest magic I've seen yet!" The little lizard exclaimed.  
She squinted through her glasses, reading the note, or at least trying to as the text was in some kind of ancient runes. All three of them heard the reluctant sigh the taller brother exhaled.  
"I WISH I COULD KEEP IT, BUT IT'S A CLUE AND MUST BE ANALYZED TO FURTHER THE INVESTIGATION. THE GREAT PAPYRUS HAS NEVER, AND WILL NEVER STOP UNTIL THIS IS SOLVED."  
Anyone who could hear noticed the melancholy note that edged Papyrus's voice, making Alphys pause in her ogling. She reached out a hand and gently pat his large, skeletal mit in attempt to silently comfort him; it was a quiet fact that Papyrus was seen as the one most likely to succeed at something, but when it came to finding that special someone. His older brother Sans had swept in and changed that dynamic up when he married Frisk, and that bothered him that he couldn't find someone with the same ease as his lazy brother.  
Papyrus was truly great, and his family and friends all thought so as well, but he'd never found a partner, claiming he just didn't feel a connection with anyone and therefore didn't want to fritter away his time looking; he hadn't expected for their mysterious woman to capture his gaze though, and why did she have to be involved in their case of all things?  
"Don't w-worry, Papyrus. I'll make s-sure you get your flower back, once it's done as a clue."  
The tall skeleton sighed ever so softly, almost not being heard, but Alphys, who knew where he was coming from and sympathized, understood and heard him. She shot him a playful wink before taking to the flower to her essence extractor.

"Wow! Looks like a science convention down here!" Frisk appeared in the doorway dressed in a lovely green skirt, and a cream blouse, and wearing her favorite black heels. She wore her hair down and loose, the way Sans loved it, and she smiled sweetly when her eyes lit on her hubby.  
All eyes turned towards the human woman, and a feeling of warmth washed over Sans as she made her way down the stairs. He turned his head up towards her, offering her his cheek bone for a kiss, which still made him blush when she pecked him.  
The skeleton watched as his wife hugged Alphys next, and then saw Undyne, who usually would give Frisk a mighty clap on the back, very gently pat her head. He was very taken aback by the mighty fishwomans sudden change, even Papyrus who would usually scoop up Frisk in a BIG swinging hug, was remarkably calm; was he missing something? 

"So, what's everyone doing?" She asked. Undyne and Alphys broke down into a fit of giggles from where they were, instantly causing another round of blushes from Papyrus.

"Oh, nothing." Undyne said in a sing-song voice.   
"Just checking over the big nerds gift from our serial kidnapper, and then lunch."  
Frisks jaw almost hit the floor before breaking into a huge grin. Another round of teasing and giggles from all present filled the room as Papyrus retold his tale of being gifted his purple rose from the kidnapper.

"That's a pretty amazing story fellas, but aren't we missing the point that this person is most likely holding missing women against their will for some reason?" Frisk asked, her eyebrow arched.

"IF she's truly our kidnapper, I sincerely doubt she's doin' it without a reason. I wouldn't KID you on that." Sans said as he polished off his mug. Everyone but him and Papyrus, who rolled his sockets, looked both amused and confused, prompting the younger brother to step forward.

"YOU SEE, SANS AND I HAVE A THEORY IN REGARDS TO OUR LOVELY MYSTERY WOMAN: SHE'S NOT KIDNAPPING THE WOMEN, SO MUCH AS SHE'S RESCUING THEM FROM SOMEONE OR SOMETHING MAKING ATTEMPTS ON THEIR LIVES."  
There came a collective gasp from the three women present, and Papyrus felt himself glow with pride at being the center of attention. He thumped his chest emphatically, pacing as he spoke.  
"ALL THE CLUES SANS HAS PRESENTED, ALONG WITH MY DEDUCTIONS AND OBVIOUS GENIUS PROVE THIS THEORY: WHEN SANS FIRST ENCOUNTERED HER UNIQUE MAGIC IT LOOKED AS IF OUR PERSON IN QUESTION WAS MERELY ABDUCTING MRS. LEONY, OUR FIRST VICTIM, BUT OUR PERPETRATORS LEFT BEHIND THEIR MAGIC FINGERPRINTS, AND OUR LADY'S MARKS SHOWED STEPS TAKEN IN DEFENSE OF THE INNOCENT IN QUESTION. IT'S BEEN THE EXACT SAME THING WITH THE OTHER THREE CASES."

Papyrus was on fire as he spoke, his passion for the "case" evident as he continued spouting facts from their findings, even though a couple faces revealed they knew it was much more than just that he was excited about.

"AND FINALLY, THE NAIL IN OUR COFFIN: WHEN SANS AND I ENTERED THAT PLACE BETWEEN WORLDS, SHE DID NOTHING BUT PROTECT US, AND FIGHT A TERRIBLE DEMON THAT THREATENED OUR VERY LIVES. IF THAT ISN'T EVIDENCE OF A HEROINE, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS. I REST MY CASE!"  
The younger bone brother struck a dramatic pose worthy of Metatons level of flamboyance, eliciting a series of applause, and giggles from the girls.

"NYEH HEH HEH! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! ALL IN A DAYS WORK." He shamelessly soaked up the praise, blushing adorably as he did.  
Frisk looked down at her watch, her eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

"Oh dear! Sans, sweetheart, if we don't leave now, we'll be late for our meeting with Dr. Ramirez!" Her chocolate brown eyes looked worried.   
Sans wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and was about to excuse them both from the group when Mettaton appeared at the top of the stairs, and he looked truly flustered.

"Boss! Boss!" He said frantically. "We have a high profile case upstairs that needs attention!" Sans looked to his little brother.

"Think you can handle this while we're gone?" He asked. Papyrus grinned his signature, haughty grin.

"BUT OF COURSE I CAN. I AM THE GREAT DETECTIVE PAPYRUS! YOU JUST HURRY ON UP AND GET TO YOUR MEETING WITH DOCTOR RAMIREZ. I'LL HANDLE THE NEW CLIENT. NYE HEH HEH!" He said with a wink, though Sans didn't get why his brother had done that; they were just getting Frisks test results, as well as Sans checking out the cryptic clue their witchy woman had said to them earlier that morning.  
"Good luck, Paps. See you all later."

♤♡◇♧

Mettaton was truly flustered as he raced about the office preparing some tea for their esteemed guest; he just couldn't believe it!  
The ambassador from Vigrid was sitting in Papyrus office waiting patiently for the detective to meet with her AND HE DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING SUITABLE FOR SUCH A LOVELY, CULTURED WOMAN TO SIP WHILE SHE WAITED ARRRRRRRRGH!  
As he was flying about in a panic, Papyrus had stepped up onto the main floor from the basement, and his sockets widened at the agitated robot-monster zipping about the office in a frantic blur.

"METTATON WHAT ARE YOU...?" Papyrus didn't even have the chance to finish as their secretary flew right up into his face and began straightening his tie.

"Your tie is crooked! Fix yourself up, for goodness sake! You're meeting with the ambassador of Vigrid, and I just don't have anything SUITABLE for our esteemed lady to drink!" Mettaton wailed dramatically. That put a huge grin on the skelemans face. Having the ambassador as a client could put Bone Brothers & CO on the international map if they played their cards right.  
He practically salivated at the idea of going international; if he became a famous enough detective, maybe he would get a movie made about himself? It would be just like the heroes in the movies he loved to watch!

His cheekbones blushed, but he quickly threw on his confident air, taking a deep breath to calm himself. He assured Mettaton that anything they had to offer would be fine, so long as they used the nice tea cups they had stowed away for special occasions, or high ranking guests; Mettaton grumbled that it still wasn't good enough, but Papyrus waved him aside, before entering his office where the ambassador had been sequestered.

He stepped in, getting ready to unleash his memorized introduction when his words fumbled at the sight of the woman sitting in front of his desk.  
Papyrus stopped mid-step, his jaw hanging slack, and his brow bones almost hit the ceiling; she was a vision of human beauty and it almost hurt his soul to look at her. Time seemed to slow down to a crawl, and in that span of a moment he drank her in as if he was dying of thirst.

She sat in a lovely blue silk vest jacket that dipped low, showing off just enough of her ample, pale cleavage to be considered tastefully risque. Hugging her thick hips was a white, silk skirt with pink roses embroidered delicately along the hem, that hung just to her knees; While others would have called her plump, even chubby, Papyrus saw her as curvaceous and all woman.

Her face was turned away, and his sockets traveled up towards her head, admiring the shoulder-length, ash-blond silk that rested gently without coif or curl against her velvet-loking flesh. He involuntarily took a breath, and it was enough sound to catch the ambassadors attention. As she turned to look at him, time seemed to return to normal, and the face he was graced with left him speechless.

The ambassador had soft, round blushing cheeks, an elegant jaw that ended in an adorable stubby chin, and an aquiline bridge that stopped in a darling button nose; her face was the perfect marriage of oval and square geometry. 

Lush, pouting lips in a shade of fuchsia so sinfully decadent caught the light of the spring sun that poured in through the window behind his desk. For the first time in his life, Papyrus had to exercise restraint as the want to reach out and touch this rare, human creature rode him hard.

The skeletons sockets locked eyes with hers, and that's when he felt the world drop out from under his feet: peering up at him through long, dark lashes were a pair of blue eyes with green rings around the pupils! He felt his soul flare to life, and recognition hit him in the proverbial gut; It couldn't be her, could it?  
A smile curved her lips, a coy glint in her eyes as the ambassador stood up offering Papyrus a petite, white-gloved hand. He took it, and before he could stop himself, pressed his teeth gently to the back of her hand with an elegant bow.

"Oh, my!" Her voice came out in a throaty purr, and it slid over his bones and into his ear holes like liquid silk.  
"I had no idea Westerners were so gallant."  
Papyrus felt himself grow hot under his collar, but he was the consummate professional with a job to do.

"WE TRY OUR BEST, MADAME AMBASSADOR. I AM THE GREAT DETECTIVE PAPYRUS, IT'S A SINCERE PLEASURE TO MAKE YOUR ACQUAINTANCE."  
Papyrus reluctantly released the ambassadors hand, pulling out her chair and helping her sit.  
"I'm so pleased to make your acquaintance as well, Detective Papyrus. I am Celestine DeGaster." She said, a deep blush coloring her cheeks, as she leaned forward in her chair, getting dangerously close to the hot-and-bothered skeleton.  
"But, I insist you call me by my first name, Detective."

♤♡◇♧

Sans was perplexed as he sat in the waiting room alone with his wife, who looked uncharacteristically nervous for just getting test results; she was just fighting what humans called a "bug", wasn't she? But regardless of the situation, his Frisk needed him there and he'd be damned if he let her down; he was lazy, but he always came through for his loved ones.

"Knock knock!" Sans shot his wife his teasing, lazy grin in hopes of easing whatever it was that was making her so edgy. Frisks lips quirked at the corners.  
"Who's there?" She asked, trying not to let her lips betray her. Her husband's hand snaked over to her own that rested in her lap.

"Colin." He said, as he snagged one of her mitts, lacing his boney digits through hers and giving it a gentle squeeze.  
"Colin who?" She asked, softly.  
"Colin the Doctor! I'm love-sick!" Frisk burst into a series of muffled snorts and giggles. She turned to face her hubby, and was just about to give him a kiss when a human nurse stepped out from the lobby door, calling Frisks name.

Sans and Frisk were ushered into a large, pink room with charts of expectant human women, and even some monsters up on the walls. The nurse had Frisk sit up on the exam table, briefly taking her pulse, and engaging in light banter before fetching the doctor.  
Sans saw a shelf full of books on infants, childcare, medicine and several medical dictionaries, of which he had a few himself. A sudden knock on the door made Frisk jump, and Sans was at her side in the blink of an eye.  
His white orbs sharp, noticing how his wife's shoulders had the slightest hint of a tremor to them.  
"Doll, you cold?" He asked, as Doctor Ramirez entered the room. She shook her head, giving him a nervous smile.  
"Ah! Good to see you Frisk! I see your husband is with today?" Dr. Ramirez was a short, portly fellow with a caramel complexion, a well groomed crew cut that was the color of snow, and the thickest glasses Sans had ever seen on anyone, human or monster.

"Hiya Doc, I'm Sans." The skeleton offered up his boney hand, which the good Doctor immediately clasped in his old, wrinkled ones.  
"An absolute delight!" Ramirez beamed. "It's always nice when the father-to-be comes along on check-ups. It does both mother and baby good to have such a reassuring presence with."

Shock was what registered first, knocking the light from the skeledude's orbitals and leaving him with a stiff grin on his empty face. Disbelief was next as he turned his gaze to his wife, who looked as though someone had dumped a bucket of ice water on her head, her brown eyes as big as dinner plates.  
"C-come again Doc?" Sans stammered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super sorry about posting this chapter so late in the week. Had to get caught up on work before I could unleash the fury of fingers to keyboard.
> 
> Anywho, I hope you guys like this!
> 
> Bone-apetité!


	5. Chapter 5: Pun In A Million

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This time on WitchesTale: Dancing In The Dark!  
> Crazy clues abound for our team at the Bone Brothers & Co Detective Agency!
> 
> Has Papyrus been bitten by the Love Bug?  
> Will Mettaton be the hero of the day?  
> Your piping hot questions answered on  
> this weeks soap opera for the magically inclined:  
> WitchesTale: Dancing In The Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry about the late update everyone! Currently getting life back on track and hit a couple of bumps on the way. No worries though! Enjoy this latest chapter!

Papyrus ran his finger tips over the embossed letters on Ambassador DeGasters card, admiring the gilded font on black cardstock and the feeling of warmth it seemed to radiate into his phalanges. His sockets looked half closed, a dreamy sigh escaping between his pristine teeth; wasn't everyday you had not one, but two beautiful women seek you out, and he couldn't help the lowkey flustered and delighted feelings tumbling about in his ribs.  
Celestine DeGaster had requested his assistance that evening in looking over her ship as she thought she might speed up the formalities of the customs office if a full fledged detective was brought on board to insure there was no contraband, or other potentially dangerous items aboard; having been so taken with Papyrus, though, the enamored woman had invited him to have dinner with her after the job was done. Papyrus figured that once his "case" looking over her vessel was finished, it wasn't a conflict of interest to dine with the lady afterward, was it?

How could he turn down so enchanting a human creature? He thought to himself. Of course it wasn't a conflict of interest! He was merely being polite in not refusing that divine womans request. Silly Papyrus! He chuckled to himself; somewhere in the back of his skull though, he couldn't help but wonder how he was suddenly turning into a chick magnet. Must be his hard efforts were finally paying off, he thought.

Suddenly the clock on his office wall chimed the hour: it was 4pm, and his meeting with Celestine was at 6:30pm. Papyrus left his tidy office, grabbing his trenchcoat and fedora, and stopped to check in with Mettaton to let him know he'd be out for the rest if the day.  
As he made his way out of the agency with a confident strut, his head held high and his chest puffed out, ideas of what a gracious guest would bring to dinner flying across his mind; he would have to change into one of his better outfits, and maybe flowers were appropriate for the occasion?  
After a quick change of clothes and a fresh splash of his favorite cologne, the younger detective was off to see Ambassador DeGaster. He hadn't realized until he was about halfway to the north port, that he had been practically skipping. Thankfully there were very few people out and about in that area, so he was able to compose himself a little better, channeling his giddiness from his feet to his mouth in a happily hummed tune; his professionalism still intact.

The smell of salty air rolling in from the ocean hit him first, and he stopped for a moment to breathe in its cleansing scent. The sound of the waves echoed through the streets in a gentle roar of white noise that felt soothing to the soul, and yet held the promise of something more. The sun was beginning it's decent behind Papyrus back, painting the world in hues of plum and rose... 

"OH DAMNIT!" He cursed aloud. "I FORGOT TO GRAB FLOWERS!" A visible sigh slouched his otherwise straight shoulders, but he was almost to his destination, and shops at that hour were closed for the day; he would just have to continue on without such niceties.  
From a distance Papyrus could hear the clang of buoys, a ship's low whistle sounded somewhere off near the channel entrance; as the area was beginning to grow dark and the street lamps were coming to life one by one, the skeleton couldn't help but marvel at the sight.  
The skeleton made his way down to the domestic ship harbor, admiring how the world around him seemed almost like a noir movie all shadowy with mist rolling in off the sea, and he chuckled to himself. But, when his sockets caught sight of the sleek vessel resting in the numbered dock spot Celestine had written on her card, he had to manually close his mouth!  
She was a long, sharp ship that looked almost like an alien craft resting in the gentle waters. Shaped like that of a bird, it's arching, elegant wings ending in massive floats, while the long body rested mere tantalizing inches above the ocean waves.  
She was pitch black, like the darkness found in a starless sky from nose to tail, boasting gold filaments and accents on her rails in shapes of vines and wild roses. Near the end of her bow in raised silver letters that caught the light of a harbor lamp: H.M.S. Umbran Elegance shimmered to life before his very gaze.  
Papyrus was impressed with the Ambassadors craft. Much like the Lady herself, it was a true marvel to see. The Detectives sockets caught site of the ramp leading up to the ship, and as he confidently strode towards the ambassadors vessel, he suddenly heard a very authoritative feminine voice call out,  
"Halt! Who goes there?"  
Had it not been for the fact that Papyrus had a naturally unshakable demeanor, he would have jumped clear to the clouds hearing the voice from the shadows. It took him a moment squinting his sockets and peering into the gloom, before he saw two figures standing before him.  
As his sight adjusted he saw two women in unusual, black uniforms. Both women looked almost identical wearing long flowing black pantsuits with a cropped cape on their shoulders. A veil of black silk with gold stitching across the bridge of the fabric covered their noses down to their chins, while their heads remained uncovered; oddly enough both ladies had short, inky-black hair, and Papyrus had to wonder if the two before him were sisters. Somehow their manner of dress seemed oddly familiar to him, but he didn't have time to ponder that line of thought further as he had a job to do.  
Papyrus whipped out the card Ambassador DeGaster had given him.  
"I'M DETECTIVE PAPYRUS, OF THE BONE BROTHERS & COMPANY DETECTIVE AGENCY AND I'M HERE AT THE BEHEST OF MADAME DEGASTER."  
"Ah! Marvelous! You're here Detective Papyrus." A familiar, dulcet voice caressed the skeledude's ear holes like velvet, and all heads turned to face the curvaceous owner of said voice.  
Celestine DeGaster stood at the top of the gangway dressed in a simple, black dress that hugged her plump body like a glove. Her ashblonde hair was coiled atop her head in a braided bun, a delicate silver comb holding it in place; the only piece of jewelry she wore, save for a long, silver chain that lead a trail from her graceful neck and plunging into the depths of her bosom.  
The two women immediately bowed from their waists, curling a fist to their hearts as they did.  
"Your grace." They said in unison. Confusion washed over Papyrus like a curling wave from the sea. His feelings must have been visible on his boney face, because Celestine took one look at him and giggled.  
"These are two of my bodyguards: Arianne, and Mariska. They like to tease me sometimes about being more of a princess than an ambassador."

"FORGIVE ME FOR SAYING THIS MADAME, BUT YOU LOOK LIKE A PRINCESS." The tall skeleton had no clue why he'd said that out loud, and he couldn't help the bright orange blush that colored his cheek bones.  
Both women chuckled softly in the darkness, and his words made Celestine blush, and then smile sweetly. She gracefully made her way down the sloping plank, reaching out a hand to Papyrus who stood as if stunned.  
"Come now, my good sir. We have work, and then dinner to do."  
Papyrus was so enthralled with this enigmatic lady that he barely noticed looping an arm through Celestines own as she lead him onto the ship. A warm, hazy feeling gently flooded over him the minute he set foot on deck; it wasn't enough to set his inner alarm bells off, but it did perk his curiosity up quite a bit.  
He reached out with the faintest thread of his soul, so subtly that even his brother would have had a difficult time sensing him; a familiar buzzing sensation begin to tingle in his bones and Papyrus knew that there was magic nearby by the way his soul responded.  
The magic he felt wasn't negative, but the overtly soothing effect it seemed to carry would easily dull the senses of a lesser being not accustomed to the subtleties of magic. Something in the detective told him to keep his senses sharp the whole duration of his visit there; whatever this was, it was possible it was targeting the ambassador, and Papyrus would have rather eaten lead than let anything happen to her.  
He flashed a debonair smile.  
"LEAD THE WAY, MADAME CELESTINE."  
♤♡◇♧

Mettaton was very grateful for the fact that he wasn't just a pretty face, but quick on his feet as well as he narrowly dodged the sharp knife that effortlessly sailed within scant inches of his pretty mug, embedding itself into the concrete slab hung on the wall behind him.  
The loud "THUNK" of the weapon echoed throughout the basement of the agency like that of a giants heart beat, and had it not been for the fact that it had almost skewered the poor bot, he would have thought it brutish, but cool.  
A blue and red blur came tearing across the cement floor barely halting in front of the blade stuck in the slab; Undyne towered over him as she hastily measured the blades strike. Muttering and mumbling under her breath as she noted velocity, depth, and damage, only to end up throwing up her hands in frustration and practically screaming out "FUCK!", before stomping back to her work bench where a slew of sharp, pointy weapons in very poor condition lay strewn about.  
Mettaton swallowed nervously, adjusting his tie in a futile effort to calm his nerves.

"Undyne, darling." He drawled, trying to keep his voice from cracking. "What on Earth was that all about?"  
Undyne raked her claws through her hair as an exasperated hiss escaped through her sharp teeth. Her trousers were covered in small patches of mineral oil, her suspenders hung down to her knees too twisted up to be of use, and her once pristine white undershirt looked as if it was sporting little rorschach pictures all over her front; Undyne looked terrible.

"This doesn't make any sense!" She growled. "I've tried every small weapon known to monster and human kind, yet none of the potential suspects matches anything done by the culprits weapon!"  
The robot secretary watched as the massive fish woman stomped over to another work bench, snatching up a pile of photographs angrily and slamming them down on her note book next to her broken arsenal.

"I mean, just LOOK at these slash marks!" She howled, and Mettaton could almost physically feel her frustration. He clucked sympathetically at her as he went to her side, his nerves subsided at the sight of his friend in need.  
His obsidian eyes gazed over the photos that lay outstretched before him, reaching out a hand to move some this way and that to see better.  
"Whatever our murderer is wielding is nigh indestructible! If I could just get an idea as to what it is I can trace it back....and...and..." Undyne sighed as her frustrations robbed her of the energy to continue. She pressed her palm against her eye patch, and took a slow breath as a look of defeat took over her beautiful blue face.

Mettaton was about to offer her some words of encouragement when something in one of the photographs caught his robotic eye. The photo was of the crime scene at the Leony residence, the first murder/kidnapping case that started what was quickly becoming the biggest case they'd gotten in the last 10 years. In the pictures black and white colors was the photo of a pile of ash, the first murder victims monster remains lay in a pile on the black top with the sun casting an almost soft, sad light to it all.  
The whole thing just seemed like your average (at least to a detective) body photo, save for a tiny glint that was just barely there in the upper right corner of the picture. Curious, Mettaton's superb vision allowed him to zoom in on the questionable thing; what appeared to be a tiny, easily dismissed metallic wedge peered back up at him from the shot. It sat partly in the pile of dust, and it lined up perfectly with one of the slash Mark's that disappeared under Mr. Leonys remains.

It was as if he had been struck by lightning; Mettaton's eyes were riveted on that little, metallic thing that sat as if taunting him from it's flat, paper likeness. The literal gears in his head grinding out a line of thought so profound it was almost too much.  
"Undyne, darling, I have a question." He heard the fish woman groan out an exasperated "What, nerd?"  
"You're a master of weaponry." He begin, and was rewarded with Undynes retort of,  
"Clearly."  
"If you had a piece of the blade, no matter how small, would that somehow help with your research?"  
Undynes head slowly came up from her palm, her eyebrows arching notoriously high.

"Even if it was just a speck of metal, with Alphys checking the mineral composition, I could easily find out what it is."  
The smartly dressed robot smirked, a twinkle in his eye as he brought up the one thing that was going to change their luck, smacking it down in front of Undyne as if he were laying down a royal flush with a million dollar jackpot.  
"We've got your clue on film, darling! Take a look at that!"  
Undyne picked up the picture, reaching for a magnifying glass that sat on her desk and peered skeptically down at the spot her friend had pointed out. At first, her yellow eye saw nothing of interest; it was the same stuff she'd combed over before. However, when her line of sight followed a particular gash going right into the pile of dust...  
At first she thought her lone functioning eye was playing tricks on her and she had to blink a few times to make sure it wasn't, but there it was; a tiny, easily missed, glinting piece of metal poking out of the dust the size of a mouse's molar.  
The color drained from her face so fast that Mettaton worried she might faint.  
"I-I can't believe I missed this." Her voice came out in an uncharacteristic tremor. Just as her color had drained from her, it was right back along with the most shit-eating, toothy grin he'd ever seen her wear.

"You know what this means, dweeb?!?" She exclaimed with glee.  
"It means if we get that speck of metal, this case is halfway solved! Oh, Mettaton you fabulous roboboy!" Undyne scooped the robot up in her arms in a big hug, swinging him about enthusiastically. Mettaton gave an indignant squawk in Undynes beefy arms, shrieking about wrinkles in his suit, but Undyne didn't care one bit.  
When her giddiness subsided, she plopped the secretary back on his feet, followed by her customary slap on the back; poor Mettaton almost fell over.

"Go get your coat Mettaton. We're going to go hunt us down a speck!" Undyne chuckled darkly; it was the robots turn to lose color.  
"We? Whaddaya mean 'we'?" His voice sounding shriller than he had intended.  
The weapons expert threw her arms over her chest, her grin widening to that of almost pure shark.  
"It's 'we' because I need your fantastic eyesight, weeny. How else do you expect me to find that little shard? I can't very well go crawling around on my hands and knees with a magnifying glass and a flashlight in the dark. I'd wind up missing it."

Mettaton groaned, his voice sounding dangerously close to the keening whine of an overwrought cog.  
"Fiiiiiiiine. I'll go with you, but you owe me one! I'm a secretary, not a Doggo."  
Undyne chuckled as she grabbed her best flashlight and her favorite trenchcoat.  
"That's the spirit!"

♤♡◇♧

The Gates of Hell sat empty and devoid of patrons. The lights were dimmed low, casting sensuous shadows from the beautiful tables and chairs that sat lonely on the bars marble floor. A soft, sad, wordless jazz tune echoed its sonorous melody throughout the place, falling upon the ears of naught but the lone man tending the bar.  
A tall, statuesque man with rich, black skin the color of dark chocolate, bald head covered in curling, obsidian tattoos and wearing a pair of greaser shades and a long brown, high-collared coat sat measuring out a few shots on his bar counter. 1, 2, 3 shots the color of polished rubies lined up perfectly before him, and he pulled out a match book as a grin bowed his thick, perfectly kissable lips.  
As he lit the first shot, a circle of bright blue lit the marble floor next to his counter. The soft hum of magic followed by the click of metallic heels interrupted the lonely-yet-serene scene.

"Rodin, I see you have my favorite ready and waiting for me. You're such a doll, darling, thank you."  
Celestine DeGaster waltzed up to the bar dressed in a body-hugging black pantsuit with blue ribbons dangling from her shoulders, her red heel pistols shone brilliantly in the dim light around them as she leaned in towards the muscular man, batting her eye lashes in mock coquettishness.  
Rodin grinned behind his dark shades as he took the shots and placed them in front of his patron, before pulling the lever next to him and revealing his cash of weapons behind his bar shelves.  
"Since you're going to be hunting down the abomination tonight, I thought I'd give you a little treat. Added a bit more to it this time; packs more of a punch to strengthen yours."

His dark chuckle echoed off the vaulted ceiling above them, and had any other person heard it, would have cringed at the veiled threat behind it.

"Time to do business, doll. What's your pleasure?"  
Celestine rolled her eyes at Rodin as she slammed the three shots in a most unladylike manner. In fact, her whole demeanor had completely shifted from "Madame Ambassador" into something altogether different. Her shoulders seemed relaxed, as if she were relieved to not have to be putting on airs, and yet she seemed restless, and slightly flushed; her eyes seemed to be sparkling, as if hiding a delightful secret.

"You know what my pleasure is, Rodin." She said quietly, a small blush coloring her cheeks. Her mind reeling with thoughts of the skeleton she had spent a whirlwind evening with. Rodin paused in digging through his arsenal, a deep chuckle escaping his lips as he shook his head.  
"You think it's him?" He asked nonchalantly, putting aside a few old, blue pistols as he continued to dig.  
The womans plump, crimson lips quirked up ever so slightly.  
"I know it's him. I felt it the moment him and his brother stepped into Purgatorio."  
Rodins lips twisted into an almost cheeky grin.  
"I wonder how your mother is going to feel about that? Did you mark him yet?"  
The laugh that rumbled out of Celestines throat sounded almost brazen, like splashing rainbow paint on a black and white painting.

"I put my first mark on him earlier this evening, cad! As for my mother, she'll be delighted. It's my father I'm worried about; You know how he can be. Now, enough about my love life."  
She snapped her fingers and in a puff of inky, blue smoke a pair of glasses appeared in her hand. She placed them on her face before turning to Rodin, a look of interest on her visage.  
"Show me what you've got for me."  
The giant man pulled out a set of four, sawed off shot guns in a hue of metallic purple so shocking it was almost too much. He gingerly, like a proud father with his newborns, laid the four out on a red, silk cloth.  
Each sawed off had a single golden charm dangling off its end. The first one had a little planet, Jupiter, while the other three had Neptune, Saturn, and Uranus sparkling in the soft light of the bar. Celestine practically drooled over the beautiful weaponry, her eyes gleaming in anticipation.

"I call them Sonnet 14." Rodin practically cooed, running his big, rough hands along one of the barrels.  
"Mmmmm......Rodin, I didn't take you for a lover of Shakespeare?" The witch hummed as she reached out and picked up one of the shot guns, admiring it's colors, and it's surprisingly light weight.  
She giggled to herself as she slapped it onto the back of her now pistol-less heel, admiring the feel of its power. She quickly snatched up the other ones, putting them into their respective positions; her old hand-me-down Scarbrough Fair discarded haphazardly on the bar counter.

An appreciative groan escaped the witches lips as she felt her magic weave perfectly into the new guns. A delicate smirk painted itself onto her face as she struck a pose.  
"I can't wait to take these for a spin. Thank you Rodin. I'll make sure you're amply compensated for these beauties."  
Celestine snapped her fingers once again, and a black puff of smoke surrounded her face leaving behind a veil obscuring her visage.

"Oh, and thank you for keeping an eye on my...wards. Once this whole thing blows over we can decide what to do with them. Cheers, dear! Off to storm the castle, as it were."

Rodin chucked a bag of witches lollipops at Celestine, who caught the bag over her shoulder before disappearing into her summoned magic circle.

"Damn kids these days gettin' too cocky." Rodin smirked as he watched the daughter of his old friend head off. He threw back a shot of the same liqueur he had served her, smacking his lips at its sugary tang.  
"Well, off to go play nursemaid. Bayonetta owes me big time for this, and so does that daughter of hers."  
And with that, he vanished into a cloud of red mist.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read this fanfic. It is my first-ever foray into posting any of my writing publicly, and I greatly hope you enjoy reading this as I had writing it.  
> Also, please bare with me as I have no shaggin' clue what I'm doing.  
> Peace!


End file.
